Cool stuff and Why Not

Rakhi SMS for Brothers

• “Brothers are like streetlights along the road, they don’t make distance any shorter but they light up the path and make the walk worthwhile.”
• “You were always my best friend, looking out for me, making sure the path I traveled on was smooth. Even if I searched the world over, there cannot be a better brother than you. Wishing You Life’s Best Always.”
• “We were always close, looking out for each other even when life led us along different paths… Like an invisible thread, our love binds us together, making sure we’ll remember where we came from and what we mean to each other. Wishing you a joyous Raksha Bandhan, Dear Brother.”
• “The loving occasion of Raksha Bandhan is the best time Brother, to reminisce fondly the wonderful moment we have spent together, sharing each other’s joys and sorrows… Thanks for spreading smiles everywhere and making life so beautiful, meaningful and Happy… My Dear Brother .”
• “You never say no, you never say thats impossible and you never say you can’t. That’s my bro, a superman who make things possible and who make paths smoother. I love you Bro.”
• “You are the person who holds me in my bad times, you are the person who dances with me in my happiness. I can’t recall even a single day when you were absent from my life. I really love you.”
• Kaamyabi tumhare kadam chume,
  Khushiyan tumhare charo aur ho,
  Par bhagwan se itni prarthana karne ke liye,
  tum mujhe kuch to commission do!
  To my extremely lovable (but kanjoos) brother…
  Just kidding as always.
  “Happy Raksha Bandhan.”

Rakhi SMS for Sisters

• "Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship."
• “Sister is someone who is caring and sharing. Sister can understand things you never said. She can understand pain which is not visible to anyone. I love my sister.”
• “It leaves a smile on my face when I think of those trifling fights we had and suddenly used to make up. The memories may fade away with passing time but the love we share will only grow. Happy Raksha Bandhan, Dear Sister.”
• “God sent in my life a beautiful Angel in your guise, Sister. In good times or bad ones, you’re ready to extend your help and support. Thanks for all you do.”
• “Sister is someone who is caring and sharing. Sister can understand things you never said. She can understand pain which is not visible to anyone. I love my sister.”

Humorous Rakhi SMS

• “Hey didi you are the best. Do you know why? Because Iam your brother.”
• “Har ladki ko aapka inteezar hai
  Har ladki aapke liye bekaraar hai
  Har ladki ko aapki aarjoo hai
  Yeh aapka koi kamaal nahi
  Kuch din baad ‘Rakhi’ ka tyohar hai!”
• “Bhagwan kare tujhe bahut pyaar mile
  sabhi ladkiyan tujhe baandhe rakhi
  tujhe jeevan bhar ka unka saath mile.
  Happy Raksha Bandhan.”
• "I am eagerly waiting for the Raksha Bandhan day. Guess, why? My brother has promised me the i-pod."
• “Rakhi Ko Tyonhar Tha
  Rakhi Bandhane Ko Bhai Taiyar Tha
  Bhai Bola bahna meri ab to rakhi bandh do,
  Bahna Boli, Kalai Peechhe karo, Pahale Rupae Hazaar do.”
• “Kya Bataoo Yaaro
  Meri Kismat Ki Kahani
  Kuch Is tarah Likhi Gai
  Jin Hatho Se Gulab Dena Chahta Tha
  Unhi hatho me vo Rakhi Bandhkar Chali Gai.”
• “Aati Thi Jaathi Thi
  Hansti Thi, hansati thi
  Bhagati Thi, Bhagaati Thi
  Bolti Thi, Bulwati Thi
  Per aaj pata chala ki
  vah mujhe rakhi bandhana chahati thi.”
• “Usaka Husn gaya kaleja cheer
  Nayano Se barbas Chhuta ek teer
  vo Muskrai, Nazdeeq aai
  Boli, Rakhi Bandhwale mere veer.”

Rakhi SMS for Teenager Brothers & Sisters

• “Hey my sweet little pie, your cute smile makes my day, your small little hands take me out from all dangers of life. You are little angel of my life. I love you. Your’s elder sister/brother.”
• “My cute angel from today’s onwards I promise you I’ll never scold you when you’ll tear my books, messed up my clothes. You are really a ray of happiness in my life.”

Rakhi Songs SMS

• “Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai
  Ek Hazaron Mein Meri Behna Hai
  Sari Umar Hame Sang Rehna Hai.”
• “Jhula Bahon Ka Aaj Bhi Do Na Mujhe
  Jhula Bahon Ka Aaj Bhi Do Na Mujhe
  Bhaiyaa Goud Mein Uthao Na Aaj Mujhe
  Kad Se Hoon Badi Mann Se Chhoti Main
  Aaj Bhi Maan Lo Na Zid Meri.”
• “Behna ne bhaai ki kalaai se pyaar baandha hai
  pyaar ke do taar se, sansaar baandha hai
  resham ki dori se -2
  resham ki dori se sansaar baandha hai) -2.”
• “Mere Bhaiya Mere Chanda
  Mere Anamol Ratan
  Tere Badale Main Zamaane Ki
  Koi Cheez Na Lu) -2.”

Rakhi witty SMS

• “Yes I love you. You are so cute, smart. My mother also likes you very much. My father is ready to take up our relationship seriously. So please don’t say no to my proposal. Accept me as your dearest, loveliest younger sister. Happy Raksha Bandhan Bhaiya.”
• “Raksha Bandhan… time for me to realize each year that what a BIG MISTAKE I made asking God for a little sister like you.”
• “Har ilzam ka haqdar vo hame bana jati hai, har khata ki saza vo hume bata jaati hai, hum har baar khamosh rah jate hai, kyonki who har baar Raksha Bandhan ka darr dikha jaati hai.”

BHANG KI KHUSBOO, THANDAI KI MITHAS, RANGO KI BAHAR, HOLI KA TEOHAR AANE KO TAYAR , THODI SI MASTI , THODA SA PYAAR , SABSE PEHLE MUBARAK HO AAPKO HOLI KA TYOH

wish u happy holi….and this holi take a lotes of happiness like rainbow coller in your life

If wishes come in rainbow colors then I would send the brightest one to say Happy Holi.

May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love and all other colors you want to paint in your life. Happy Holi!

Bright colors, water balloons, lavish gujiyas and melodious songs are the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wish you a very happy and wonderful Holi.

May god gift u all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of luv n all other colors u want to paint in ur life. Happy Holi.

Just like a red rose that fills the world with beauty & fragrance… You have made my life so beautiful by being in it. On Holi, the festival of colors & joy I wanna say thank you for all the love & smiles you’ve brought to my life. Happy Holi

_________ U’ve
!’–.___.–’! got a
i________i CARD.
Open it…

§«§«§«§«§«§«§«§«
§    H A P P Y    §
§      H O L I      §
§«§«§«§«§«§«§«§«
Have a Nice Day!

Tumhari holi ho number one, aur tum karo whole lotta fun! wishing you a happy & colour full holi. Happy Holi

Khaa key gujiya, pee key bhaang, laaga k thora thora sa rang, baaja ke dholak aur mridang, khele holi hum tere sang.

Holi par sabhi ko sabhi rango se milkar ek rang, apko mile jo apki khusiyon ko rangin bana de.

Rango Ke Tyohar Me Sabhi Rango Ki Ho Bharmar,
Dher Saari Khushiyo Se Bhara Ho Aapka Sansar,
Yahi Dua hai Bhagwan Se Hamari Har bar,

Makki ki Roti, Nimbu ka Aachar,
Suraj Ki Kirne, Khushiyo ki Bahar,
Chand Ki Chandi, Apno ka Pyar,
Mubarak Ho Aapko, HOLI ka Tyohar

Rango mein ghuli ladki kya laal gulabi hai,
Jo dekhta hai kehta hai kya maal gulabi hai,
Pichle baras tune jo bhigoya tha holi mein,
Ab tak nishani ka woh rumaal gulabi hai

Aapne dil ka haal batana chod diya, humne bhi gehrai mein jaana chod diya. HOLI se pehle hi aapne nahana chod diya?

Pichkari ki dhar, gular ki bauchar, apno ka pyar, yahi hai HOLI ka tyohar. Wishing you and your family a very hapy and colourful HOLI.

The word “queue” is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.

Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms  like fried bacon.

Of all the words in the English language, the word ’set’ has the most definitions!

What is called a “French kiss” in the English speaking world is known as an “English kiss” in France.

“Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

“Rhythm” is the longest English word without a vowel.

In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child

A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off!

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath

There is a city called Rome on every continent.

It’s against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland!

Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day!

Horatio Nelson, one of England’s most illustrious admirals was throughout his life, never able to find a cure for his sea-sickness.

The skeleton of Jeremy Bentham is present at all important meetings of the University of London

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people

Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe!

The elephant is the only mammal  that can’t jump!

One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet!

Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different!

The first known transfusion of blood was performed as early as 1667, when Jean-Baptiste, transfused two pints of blood from a sheep to a young man

Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin!

The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and had only ONE testicle.

Diwali aai, masti chahi, rangi rangoli,
deep jalaye, Dhoom Dhadaka, chhoda phataka, jali

Sabko Bhaye, “Happy Diwali” By khushbu
Diwali Parva hai Khushio ka,
Diwali Parva hai Khushio ka,

Ujalo ka, Laxmi ka…. Is Diwali Aapki Jindagi khushio se bhari ho,
Duniya ujalo se roshan ho, ghar par Maa Laxmi ka Aagman ho…

Laxmi aayegi itni ki sab jagah Naam hoga,
Laxmi aayegi itni ki sab jagah Naam hoga,
Din raat vyapar bade itna adhik kaam hoga,
Ghar Pariwar samaj me banoge Sartaj, Yehi Kamna hai hamari aap ke liye

Aai aai Diwali aai, Saath me kitni Khushiya laayi,
Aai aai Diwali aai, Saath me kitni Khushiya laayi,
Dhoom machao, mauz manao, aap sabhi ko Diwali ki badhai.

Deep Jalte jagmagate rahe, H
Deep Jalte jagmagate rahe, Hum aapko Aap hame yaad aate rahe,
Jab tak zindagi hai, dua hai hamari ‘Aap Chand ki tarah Zagmagate rahe…’

Troubles as light as Air,
Troubles as light as Air,
love as deep as Ocean,
Friends as Solid as Diamonds,
and Success as bright as Gold…
These are the wishes for you and your family on the eve of Diwali and EID. Eid ki Mubarakbadi aur Diwali ki Shubhkamana

May the Divine Light of Diwali Spread into
May the Divine Light of Diwali Spread into your Life Peace, Prosperity, Happiness and Good Health.

Safalta Kadam Chumti rahe,
Safalta Kadam Chumti rahe,
Khushi Aaspas ghumti rahe,
Yash Itna faile ki KASTURI Sharma Jaye,
Laxmi ki kripa itni ho ki BALAJI bhi dekhte rah jaye,

Ek Dua Mangte hai hum apne Bhagwan se.
Ek Dua Mangte hai hum apne Bhagwan se…
Chahte hai Aapki Khushi Pure imaan se,
Sab Hasratein Puri Ho Aapki,
Aur Aap Muskaraye Dil-o-Jaan se!!
Happy Diwali and New Year that leads you on the road of Success.

I Pray to God to give U
I Pray to God to give U
Shanti,
Shakti,
Sampati,
Swarup,
Saiyam,
Saadgi,
Safalta,
Samridhi,
Sanskar,
Swaasth,
Sanmaan,
Saraswati,
aur SNEH.
SHUBH DIWALI…

Laksh Divyani Ujalali Nisha Ghevuni Navi Umed,
Laksh Divyani Ujalali Nisha Ghevuni Navi Umed,
navi asha Hotil purna manatil sarva Iccha,
Diwalichya Tumhala Khup Khup Shubheccha…

Is diwali pe humari dua hai ki apka har sapnna pura ho,
duniya ke unche mukam apke ho,
shoharat ki bulandiyon par naam apka ho!
Wish u a very Happy Diwali!

Khushian ho overflow,masti kabhi na ho low,dosti ka surur chaya rahe,dhan aur shorat ki ho bauchar, aisa aaye aapke liye DIWALI KA TYOHAR

Sri ram ji aapke ghar sukh ki barsat karen, Dukhon ka naas karen. Prem ki phuljhari wa anar aapke ghar ko roshan kare. Roshni ke diye aapki jingagi me khusiya layen. Happy deepawali

With my
1 heart
2 eyes
7 liter blood
206 bones
4.5 million red cells
60 trillion D N A”S…
All wishing you a very very
HAPPY DIWALI!

_l”l________
–/ l__l  Delivery
|     |     ________
L(o)__l___(o)__|
This van is loaded with
LOVE n CARE,
Wishing U and your family
A HAPPY DIWALI

With gleam of Diyas
And the Echo of the Chants
May Happiness and Contentment Fill Your life
Wishing you a very happy and prosperous Diwali!!

|———–|
| ‘–.__.–’  | Here is
|———–| my
GREETING 4 you.
Kindly open it….

$========$
(   HAPPY    (
(   DIWALI   (
)      &          )
( Prosperous )
( New Year  )

“aaj se aap ke yaha…dhan… ki barsat ho,
maa laxmi ka… vas… ho, sankatto ka…. nash… ho
har dil par aapka… raj… ho, unnati ka sar par… taj… ho
ghar me shanti ka…. vas… ho
* HAPPY DIWALI *

Apun wishing u a wonderful,
super-duper, zabardast, xtra-badhiya, xtra special ekdum mast n dhinchak, bole to ekdum Jhakaas “HAPPY DiWALi”

Diwali, Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
sitaro ne gagan se salam bheja hai,
Mubarak ho apko ye “DIWALI”
Humne tahe dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.

Phool ki shuruvat kali se hoti hai,
Zindagi ki shuruvat pyar se hoti hai,
Pyar ki shuruvat apno se hoti hai aur
apno ki shuruvat aapse hoti hai.
* Happy Diwali *

Safalta Kadam Chumti rahe,
Khushi Aaspas ghumti rahe,
Yash Itna faile ki KASTURI Sharma Jaye,
Laxmi ki kripa itni ho ki BALAJI bhi dekhte rah jaye,

Deep Jalte jagmagate rahe, Hum aapko Aap hame yaad aate rahe,
Jab tak zindagi hai, dua hai hamari ‘Aap Chand ki tarah Zagmagate rahe…

Aai aai Diwali aai, Saath me kitni Khushiya laayi,
Dhoom machao, mauz manao, aap sabhi ko Diwali ki badhai.
Happy Diwali

Diwali Parva hai Khushio ka,
Ujalo ka, Laxmi ka…. Is Diwali Aapki Jindagi khushio se bhari ho,
Duniya ujalo se roshan ho, ghar par Maa Laxmi ka Aagman ho…
Happy Diwali

Now you can get SMS messages Jokes/TShirt Writting/ Amaging Facts/Food for thought in You mobile by subscribing to the following SMS Channels. All you need is an Mobile to recieve SMS and a Google Account.

This service is totally FREE

http://labs.google.co.in/smschannels/subscribe/Jokes_SMS

http://labs.google.co.in/smschannels/subscribe/Things_To_Think

http://labs.google.co.in/smschannels/subscribe/TShirt_Quotes

http://labs.google.co.in/smschannels/subscribe/TrueFacts
This functionality is available only in INDIA

☻Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

☻Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

☻I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

☻Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

☻First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

☻Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

☻Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!

☻Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.

☻Bad sex is better then a good day in school.

☻Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!

☻Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…

☻Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……

☻My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too…

☻Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?

☻I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

☻Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks your an asshole…

☻If you wanna be a hipi, put you flower in your pipi…

☻Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!

☻Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis………………………ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry…………..

☻Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!

☻It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

☻News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

☻God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

☻The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”

☻CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

☻Crime doesn’t pay…Does that mean my job is a crime?

☻Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

☻Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

☻I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

☻Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

☻First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

☻Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

☻Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!

☻Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.

☻Bad sex is better then a good day in school.

☻Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!

☻Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…

☻Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……

☻My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too…

☻Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?

☻I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

☻Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks your an asshole…

☻If you wanna be a hipi, put you flower in your pipi…

☻Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!

☻Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis………………………ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry…………..

☻Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!

☻It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

☻News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

☻God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

☻The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”

☻CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

☻Crime doesn’t pay…Does that mean my job is a crime?

☻This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

☻Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

☻I want to suck you… lick you… wanna move my tongue all over you…wanna feel you in my mouth…yep, tat’s how u…eat an ice cream!

☻ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

☻Don’t spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.

☻Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

☻Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

☻Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

☻I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears…

☻There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

☻What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?

☻What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.

☻I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

☻A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

☻Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who’s there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

☻What’s the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

☻Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

☻Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

☻What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

☻The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

☻Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

☻WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

☻What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

☻Why was Phillip’s girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

May this new year bring many opportunities your way, to explore every joy of life and may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm, turning all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements.

Every man should be born again on the first day of January.  Start with a fresh page.  Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.

New Year’s Day:  Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.

We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day. 

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath.  Today, we are a pious and exemplary community.  Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever. 

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. 

And ye, who have met with Adversity’s blast,
And been bow’d to the earth by its fury;
To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass’d
Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury -
Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,
The regrets of remembrance to cozen,
And having obtained a New Trial of Time,
Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen.

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past.  Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

beautiful flowers die….
Nice stories end……
Lovely songs fade…….. ..
Momeries are forgotten… ..
All things comes to end…..
But people like YOU always remain forever…..
………… .
BECAUSE GHOSTS NEVER DIE

Santa falls in luv with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love
letter to her: “I luv u sister.”
*****
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
*****
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
*****
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
*****
Banta ek sadhu se bola” Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu : Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
*****
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
*****
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What’ll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I’ll take the money.
*****
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
*****
Q: How do you recognize Santa’s son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
*****
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u’ll die.
Santa: U’ll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?
*****
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without
message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call
*****
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
*****
Q: A Man asked Santa, “Akal badhi ya bhains? ”
A: Santa bola, “Pehle date of birth to batao.”
*****
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
*****
What’s Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What’s Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi
*****
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
*****
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion’s cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn’t say he got out.
*****
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
*****
Santa (reading from book of facts): “Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?”
Banta: “Why don’t you use a mouth wash ?”

I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha

God created the earth,****God created the woods, ****God created you too, ****but yes, even God makes mistakes!

Someday u may lose ur hair.****u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.****But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.****coz u cant lose wot u don’t have!

What is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes****that the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey****plz contact zoo for detail

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !… Now read it without the word cat

You’ve got Style… You’ve got Intelligence. .. You’ve got Class… You’ve got D Face… & You’ve got D Body… & I’ve got the wrong number! Sorry!

Last nite I lay in bed, looking at the stars, the beautiful sky and the endless horizon…. and suddenly I thought… where the hell is my roof?

The animals of a jungle have decided to hold a meeting. The lion has come, the tiger has come, the elephant has come, the monkey has come.. But The meeting hasn’t started. Guess why ? Because the Donkey is busy reading this SMS !

A - U’r Attractive B - U’r D Best C - U’r Cute D - U’r Dear 2 me E - U’r Excellent F - U’r Funny G - U’r Gud Looking H - He He He I - I’m J - Just K - Kidding

Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT !

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming, Funny, well… Enough about ME! How about you?

If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It’s not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn’t expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn’t even tell me? Animal Planet!

Without u ,life is black and white Without u ,the world is no hops no light Without u t can’t go left or right Without u i lose my sight Thank u my glasses

Uski nazr meri tarf thi, Meri nazr uski tarf thi, Vo mujse kuch kehna chahti thi, Mein us se kuch puchna chahta tha, Dono ise uljan mein bethe rahe aur exam over ho gaya

Aaj tum DIL mango de daingy ……..DHARKAN mango de daingy ……..JIGER mango de daingy Kyun k TeenO filmz ghar main he Parii hain!!!!!

E dost teri dosti k liye Duniya chod denge Teri traf aye tufan ko mod denge, Lekin tune jo sath choda Kasam se teri haddiyan tod denge!!

Tez hawa ka jhonka aaya Saath main teri khushbu laya Tab meray dil main khayal aaya Aaj bhi mera dost nahin nahaya

Quaid AZAM foat ho chuky hen, LIQUAT ALI be shaheed ho chuky hen! IQBAL B NAHIN RAHAY MARI bitabiat kuch theek nahi rehti Pata nahi Pakistan ka kya banay ga?

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Kuch nahi bas aapka chehra yaad aagaya Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

You = cute You = hot You = sweet You = intelligent You = amazing You = perfect Me = liar

Let me Guess Wht ru Doing Reading Book? NaNa! Listning Musc? Uhu! WatchingTV? Nah.! Caught U! Missing Me. & READIND My SMS Na..! Oh Now Ur Smiling!

Teacher in algebra class: A=B & B=C So A=C Give me a relevant Example STUDENT Sir I LOVE U & U LOVE Ur DOUGHTER Means I LOVE Ur DOUGHTER Heheheheeh (:>$

7 WONDES OF THE WORLD BOLE TO 1- APUN 2- APUN KI SMILE 3- APUN KI ESTYLE 4- APUN KI FACE 5- APUN KI NATURE 6- APUN KA MSG 7- BOLE TO TUM APUN KA DOST

Dil ki yeh khawaish hai mein tere ghar aaon, Tere ghar aaon, Tere ghar aaon, Baar baar aaon, Har baar aaon AUR … Ball baja kar bhaag jaon [Big Grin]

1. Bicycles don’t pregnant.
2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.
3. Bicycles don’t have parents.
4. Bicycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
5. You can share your bicycles with your friends.
6. Bicycles don’t care how many other bicycles you’ve ridden.
7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.
8. Bicycles don’t care how many other bicycles you have now.
9. Bicycles don’t care if you look at other bicycles.
10. Bicycles don’t care if you buy bicycle magazines.
11. You’ll never hear, “Surprise, you’re goning to own a new bicycle” unless you go out and buy one yourself.
12. If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
13. If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
14. If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don’t have to discuss politics with it.
15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your

It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!

“Look, guide, here are some lion tracks.”
“Good. You see where they go and I’ll find out where they came from.”

“Do you think I”ll lose my looks as I get older?”
“Yes if you’re lucky.”

A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.

“Has there been any insanity in your family?”
“Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he’s the boss.”

I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.

“My wife doesn’t know what she wants.”
” You’re lucky. My wife does.”

We have a quiet home life. I don’t speak to her and she doesn’t speak to me.

“What do use for washing dishes?”
“Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best. “

“Why don’t you give your husband a divorce?”
“What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?”

“Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?”
“I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in four months.”

1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **
2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards.
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3. What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **
4. What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
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5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her
last.
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7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **
8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.